Day Three

My Mood: connected, sensual, tough, hot

My Look: Tough Bitch in Red Lipstick

My Outfit:

• Plain white extra soft and comfortable t-shirt
• My favourite cuffed denim jeans (are there any other kind?) that have been patched one-million times
• Sailboat necklace I acquired in Halifax
• Red converse sneakers
• Sailor themed head scarf
• and of course...red lipstick
  

How do I feel in this:
Kind of like I'm wearing a costume but also comfortable and sassy. I'm a little uncomfortable about my body (my stomach in particular) in this white t-shirt but I've vowed to embrace the way my body looks and feels and I have consciously decided not to 'suck it in'. I also gave myself a hug today and am embracing my feminine curves as part of what it means for me to claim femme.

Some queer-ish, femme-ish, things I did today:

• expressed my feelings without holding back (read on for what that looks like...)
• stared back when the entire bus was looking at me
• got lipstick all over the cheeks of the little baby I nanny (so adorable!)
• loved my body, loved my belly, loved being a woman
  

Some queer-ish, femme-ish discoveries:

• I'm proud of myself for doing this despite my anxiety about other people's opinions
• I feel so much more myself since starting this
• I really love wearing red lipstick everyday 
• I need to carry around  notebook because I am bombarded with thoughts of this project all. day. long. (but i love it!)

Day Three Thoughts:

Red Lipstick


Today I've been thinking a lot about red lipstick, mostly because I've been wearing it for three days now, but also because I think red lipstick is classically connected to femme. Not that femme doesn't exist or can't exist without it or without other visual elements but there is something about red lipstick that defines the essence of femme for me. Back in Rosie's time when lipstick was pretty much the standard for women I don't think it had the same punch as it does today. To wear red lipstick in public is a subversive act for me. It subverts traditional femininity in that it screams, "I am a sexual, sensual, woman. I am red-hot full-bodied passion. I am bold. I am 'too much' for you to handle" and this is written in red on my mouth for the world to see. But good girls don't expose their sexuality and they especially don't enjoy it. Good thing I'm not a good girl. Good thing I'm a femme.

I don't normally enter the world of poetry writing because it scares the shit out of me but I was inspired on the subway today and this is what happened...

Day Two

My Mood: insecure, overwhelmed, tired, pensive


My Look: Lesbian Librarian




My Outfit:

• Black cardi that once belonged to an ex-girlfriends Mom
• Black T-shirt made out of bamboo (strange but true)
• Plaid skirt out of the 'free' bin
• Black tights with black flat ankle boots which later became Zoe's sneakers due to my feet becoming sore
• Super fun hoop earrings with little knitted beads on them that used to belong to my sister
  
• 'Russian Red' lipstick (again)
• Red nail polish (again...but now somewhat chipped)
• 'say no to girl hate' button- seriously, do it

How do I feel in this?
Like I could sit and read Judy Butler all day and actually understand half of what she's saying. Like I can be taken seriously. Like I am keeping a secret.
 
 Some queer-ish, femme-ish things I did today:

• wore bright red lipstick to a doctors appointment at nine in the morning (my doctor literally couldn't find me in the waiting room)
• tried on three different outfits before leaving the house this morning
• was honest and open about my insecurities and put time, effort, and thought into why 
• let myself cry                                                              

Some queer-ish, femme-ish discoveries:

• I love the way red lipstick makes me feel- strong, confident, sexual- despite the fact that it gets on everything
• sneakers go best with skirts, shoes that make me uncomfortable are not part of femme for me 
• its feels good to give myself permission to do things that I might not otherwise do
  
• femme is full of attitude
  

Day Two Thoughts:
Insecurities and queering the process

So after the excitement of yesterday and the beginning of the project it was inevitable that I would come down out of the clouds and head straight towards huge feelings of being overwhelmed and insecure. I say this because this happens to me often. I get all excited that I am going to contribute in some super meaningful way that will change what I and everyone thinks of gender and sexuality and identity and then I start to get scared. Kind of like when I got to graduate school and was convinced that there had been some glitch in the system and I had accidentally been accepted. I was terrified that everyone was about to find out that I wasn't really smart and that I was just fooling everyone into thinking I was and eventually when it came time to create something I wouldn't be able to. I soon began to realize that most grad students think this way, a small comfort that did little to quell my anxiety.

Day One

The Look: 'ZineFest Chic


The Outfit: 

• $2 red and white earrings from the McClung Magazine booth (a feminist magazine based out of Ryerson University: www.mcclungs.ca)
• red lipstick in 'Russian red'
• red red nail polish that I got years ago from my roommate in Montreal
• grey polka dot sweater, stretchy stripe-y skirt, black leggings, comfy velcro sneakers all part of the Zoe Hayes collection
• clangy black and gold bangles
• (not shown) the 'i love my cunt' button I later bought from the chick at Riot Wife (http://riotwife.wordpress.com/) or possibly one of the booths beside her...hm...oh well, check her out anyway
  

 
How I feel in this: 

Kind of like Zoe, a crafty, kistchy femme. I love the way the bracelets jingle on my wrists and the way my nails look while holding a coffee cup. I am soooo comfy and half way through the day I decided that I absolutely NEEDED to be wearing red lipstick and made my way through the crowd of 'zinesters at CanZine to apply it--thank goddess for the sneakers. I feel fun and silly- like I could break into song and dance at any moment. I also feel like I could be an actor on a kids t.v. show or Cyndi Lauper.


The most femme thing I did today was...

talking about femme. all. day. long. to anyone that would listen. 


The most queer thing I did today was...

cried at an ani difranco song. for real.


 Day One Thoughts:

Beginnings 
 
Today I sat in a half-booth with my friend Zoe, eating the most delicious oatmeal pancake,  discussing activism and identity politics. For those who know me this isn't exactly unusual subject matter for me but I've been somewhat disconnected since taking an 'extended break' from the pursuit of my Master's degree in Women and Gender Studies in Halifax. Thank goddess for Zoe because she sure has a way of validating my ideas and making me think, not to mention her superb listening skills. Sometimes I can get a little...lets say...excited about things and this was no exception.  Maybe it was the two double Americanos, maybe it was the fact that I happened to be wearing all of her (femme-ish) clothes (since last nights Halloween costume was semi-inappropriate breakfast attire) or maybe I just needed to finally DO something after all the talking I've been doing about possible thesis options but as I looked down at my red painted finger nails and the bangles on my wrist I suddenly decided that it was time to  give myself permission to just go all out femme...for a month.

It all started when I dressed up for Halloween as Amy Winehouse…

Last night, for Halloween, I channeled my inner femme and dressed up as Amy Winehouse. Today I have a blog and an experiment. What transpired in between you ask? A little bit of red nail polish, some stiletto heels and a whole lot of questions I have about what it means to be a femme, a feminist, and a dyke—and more importantly, what does one wear?

For the next thirty days I am going to attempt to ‘do’ femme. This process will be documented here through snapshots of my day to day ‘femme attire’, musings about my experience and comments from readers (that’s you guys!). I am choosing to focus specifically on femme fashion and style because it’s a fun, tangible and accessible medium from which to discuss identity and because it suitably evokes the constructedness of identity. My hope is that this will be the jumping off point for a broader exploration of queer femme in all its forms.

So how can YOU be a part of this? By adding your comments, suggestions, and love/support of course! If you really want to keep track of me you can become a ‘follower’ (oh, google…) of my blog or if you’re in the Toronto area you can help me create a femme-tastic discussion/reading/action-adventure group (or tell me about yours).

Happy reading!
…stay tuned for day one…